January 26, 2023

In an often loud and sometimes violent world, where “going hard” has been “oo-rahd” by so many films and archetypal stories, gentle may seem weak to some…. But I think it’s radical- in these times, it’s soft that’s hard!

What I’ve learned over the decades of practice and study: healing happens with integrity and presence…it’s slow, careful and attuned.

Trauma recovery research indicates that provocations or shock therapies don’t seem to heal people’s nervous systems long term, and can actually cause more damage. Catharsis, often a great energy discharge or release, seldom heals. There are people for whom this tough approach has appeal, but it's not in line with my training experience or cosmology.

Further, healing work must center the client, and in group work, speak to the breadth of the field- not the provider. It has to be sensitive- It is only through a felt and understood awareness of individual history and experiences that we can meter the pace and content of sessions- there is not a single approach that will work- we attune with sensitivity.

And another point: So much of the time, self help and personal growth draw too heavily on "improvement", which is a derivative of ascension theologies - the kind of thinking that indicates that there is somewhere to get to, when in actuality the deepest healing seems to happen by dropping in: loving this moment, in all of its difficulties and complexities.

When we hold space with compassion for each other, we bring a softness and acceptance to this now instance, and something releases…

Healing happens in whispers and laughter and tears and holding each other with no hierarchy, as we should have been met when the original wobble occurred.

I whisper energetically that I love you, I see you, I’m here, and not trying to change anything. Simply being.

#trauma #healing #simplicity #gentleness #emergent #selfcompassion #mutuality